Becoming Her

In order for me to focus on becoming the woman that God created me to be, there are somethings I would like to tell 11 year old Marsha.  With my 4-foot- 2 frame, brown eyes and curly brown hair, I wonder if she would look up to the young women she has become today. The conversation between these two tiny powerhouses would be filled with laughter, questions and tears but also a deep sense of peace; as they realize that there is a God who chased after them just to walk along side them.

I have always felt God’s hand on my life, but I never really appreciated it. I mistook my loneliness as being to annoying, and my deep need for belonging as being clingy. I wanted to have a sense of belonging amongst my classmates, but God was calling me unto himself first. Instead of running to the well of validation from others, I needed to run to the living himself, Jesus Christ.

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”: John 4:10

I wish I could sit her down and tell her to not spend those Sundays in church day dreaming, but instead focus on what the Pastor is saying; it will come in handy one day. Don’t get so caught up in trying to go to that girl’s party, instead, try to figure out when your next youth group event is and going to that.

What was cool then is not cool now.  This is a phrase I need to constantly remind my self of as I write this as a 20 something. As I look towards the women I want to be in my  80s, I often think about the advice I would give my 20 something self. This is the part of the journey I will just have to wait to see.